new qotw

Samuel has been laying it on pretty thick the fact that he turns 25 next tuesday. Pretty old, quarter of a century, it goes on.
So the new qotw is
if we had a party where "old" would be the theme what kind of gift would you bring him?

my gift to him would be a pretty obnoxious hair piece because he has been saying forever he is bound to lose his hair. One that definitely looks like a hair piece. One that looks like a rug or looks like an animal thats been run over.